waiting to go to school. feel a little uneasy. felt like blogging to write my thoughts down... woke up thinking about what happened last nite. i'm so tired physically... so much work to do.. these few days have been sleeping right when i lie on bed. i'm so exhausted. and my relationship hasn't made it any easier for me.
gonna meet dear todae. supposed to be very happie. but in fact, i'm feeling lost and uneasy. i dunno why. coz he was supposed to mit his army frens todae. but stoopid me go and ask him out coz i thot i end school early... and i had no idea that he had an appointment. we had a little quarrel about it. in the end he cancelled his appointment wif his frens which did not make me feel any better. it made me felt worst. and since he cancelled it, if i dun mit him, it would be so bad rite? i dunno how to react.
we toked about many things last nite. our personalities, the different ways that we are brought up. its hard to keep the relationship going. my family is the "no u can't stayover", "no u can't go out late" type. my parents have been very strict wif me since i was young and i dun like to upset my parents, especially my mummy. coz i love my mummy alot. i always keep her updated of my whereabouts so that she would not worry about me if its late. its very hard. i dun wanna make things difficult for him. everytime we go out late, i'll feel bad, coz its becoz of me that he has to leave early to send me home, even if i insist that he dun send me home.
tmr is dear's birthdae dinner treat wif his close frens. he wants to hold it in the east so that it would be easier for me to go home. but i dun want coz all his friends stays in the west. i feel bad if he does that. its so hard. i noe i haven't been a good girlfriend.. i dunno... if i see god one dae, i would ask him to change my personality to what dear likes and if god tells me that he can't do that, i would tell god to make him fall in love with someone else. i feel so bad, sorry and i juz can't explain how it feels.
it seems like a long day ahead.... so vague.... the weather's bad.... my heart's feeling rotten.....
